We arrived at my house only a few minutes later. After parking in the garage, I walked up to the door to the house, waiting for Ryan before going inside. Once we were inside, I grabbed his hand again, leading him up to my bedroom.

The moment we got into my room, I shut the door behind us and pressed Ryan up against it. I immediately pressed my lips against his for the second time that day, loving the feeling that kissing him gave me. When I was kissing Ryan, I got more turned on than I ever had before.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me even closer to his body. Our hips crashed together, causing Ryan to moan which was definitely the hottest thing my ears had ever heard.

I walked us over to my bed, pushing Ryan down onto it. And I had to admit, things were going a little fast for having just met him, but I wasn’t about to complain.

His warm hands slid over my body, leaving trails of fire wherever he touched. They slid up my back, pulling my shirt up with them.

“Ryan,” I mumbled into his lips, “I think…that maybe…we should…stop.”

I finally managed to get out a complete sentence, pulling away from Ryan at the end. He stared at me for a moment, and I was scared he was just going to break up with me because I wasn’t a complete man slut. But then he spoke, thank god.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he started. “Because I don’t know about you, but my mom told me not to have sex with strangers.”

He giggled and tapped my nose, smiling. He was the cutest thing I had ever laid eyes on.
“Well, my mom told me not to talk to strangers, but your mom’s way works, too,” I laughed, leaning down and kissing Ryan quickly before jumping off the bed.

I straightened out my shirt and pants. I knew my hair was probably all ruffled and sex-looking, but whatever. My hair almost always looked like that. It didn’t really matter.

“Okay, on that note, let’s go grocery shopping!” I clapped, a big smiling spreading across my face.

Ryan laughed, getting up and fixing his outfit, as well. He walked over to and kissed me once, letting it linger for a moment and it felt like everything stopped for a second, just for us. Wow, that was really corny.

I led us downstairs and into the kitchen where my mom was sitting at the table, finishing off the list.

“Hey, sweetheart. Who’s your friend?” she greeted me, looking up and smiling at Ryan.

“Mom, this is Ryan, Ryan this is my mom,” I introduced them, waving my hand between the two.

“Nice to meet you,” Ryan smiled back, waving at my mom.

“Is Brendon making you go grocery shopping with him?” she asked Ryan, laughing quietly.

“Oh please, Mom. He practically begged me to let him come with me,” I said, rolling my eyes.

Ryan just laughed and shook his head, amused at my sarcasm.

”Okay, B. Whatever you say,” my mom laughed as well, handing me her finished grocery list.

“These are the things I need. If you want anything else for your lunches or something, just get it,” she said, smiling at Ryan and me.

“Okay, we’ll be back later.”

I led Ryan to the garage, hopping into the car and heading off towards the grocery store.

“So, Ryan. Tell me a little more about yourself,” I began the conversation, grinning as I glanced sideways at Ryan.

A/N: omfg, I’m so sorry that it’s been so long. I took a sort of hiatus to catch up with all my schoolwork. And luckily it’s now the last week of school. Unfortunately I will be gone for the next two weeks. But hopefully I’ll get some writing done then, and be able to post once I get back. Comments are appreciated, loves! xD

After kissing for only a few seconds, what I was doing finally hit me.

I was kissing Ryan. In the hall. Where anyone could walk by. At any moment.

“I’m sorry I just-”

I was cut off by Ryan’s lips, which attached themselves to mine again. And I had to say, the moment felt perfect. Kissing Ryan was like pure heaven.

But this had to stop. No one could see me kissing a guy. That just could not happen.

“Ryan, I can’t do this. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t. If-if Jon found out, he’d… he’d treat me like such shit.”

I spoke softly after pulling away from Ryan. I sighed, shaking my head.

“I know. But I mean I, um, I really like you. And I mean I know I’ve only known you for less than a day, but… I just feel a connection with you.”

Ryan placed his hand on my knee, a weak smile gracing his lips. The lips that mine had just been pressed against. Wow, I’m lucky.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. And I feel it, too. But… you understand, right?”

I looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping he’d get what I was saying. The last thing I wanted was to make Ryan upset.

I just wanted to kiss him to be frank. But obviously that couldn’t happen right now with the given conditions.

Ryan shrugged, “Yeah, I do. I just wish things could be different.”

He moved his legs so that he was now sitting Indian-style facing me.

“Well you know… we could always just be secretive about it, if you’re up for that,” I suggested, hoping that he would agree because I didn’t want this to end already.

Hell, it had barely even started. It would be totally unfair if it had to end already.

“That actually sounds like it’d be sort of fun.”

He smiled, his eyes shining brightly. God, he had great eyes.They were like honey and just made you want to stare at him all day. But that would be creepy.

“So I take that as a yes?”

I moved my hand to cover his on top of my knee, running my index finger over his knuckles.

“Definitely.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was one of the happiest moments of my life.

I told Ryan to meet me at my car after school so we could go back to my house.

My mom always had grocery lists for me, so I figured that he and I could go to the store together. At least that would make things more fun for me.

When he walked up, I couldn’t help but get little butterflies all in my stomach. He just looked so nonchalant and cute.

And I didn’t fail to notice quite a few girls and boys eyeing him up, and I felt jealous but also overjoyed because technically he was mine. But on the down low of course.

It kind of sucked how we had to keep our relationship a secret. All I really wanted to do was show him off. I was so happy that he was mine, and I wanted the whole school to know.

But I couldn’t tell anyone, because then everyone would know that I was gay, and we couldn’t have that. I couldn’t have that. I was not ready to go through what Pete had to go through. I truly didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to put up with that.

But I had to admit; Ryan might have been worth the trouble. He was gorgeous, after all.

He walked up to me, a big silly grin on his face.

“Hey, sunshine,” He said sweetly, standing in front of me.

I could tell that he wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss him. So I dragged him over to my car and got in, waiting for him to shut his door before peeling out of the parking lot.

The sooner we got to my house the better. Because then and only then would we be able to be alone.

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A/N: OMGAWHHH. sorry this took /so/ long to post. and sorry it's so short. :'( i was super duper busy last week. but i'm going to try to get ahead on chapters this week since i don't work that much. :] YEY. hope you liked it.

When I walked into the bathroom, Ryan was standing next to the sink, but he was facing me.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

He smiled as he spoke, leaning back against the sink and placing his hands on the corners.

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure Jon didn’t freak you out or something.”

My voice was unsure and tentative, not wanting to say the wrong thing and seem like I cared too much. Because hell, I’d only met this kid like…3 hours ago.

“Nah. It was just kind of awkward and I didn’t really wanna make a fight or anything,” he said, shrugging and flipping his bangs out of his eyes. Wow, that was cute.

“Sorry, Jon’s just kind of an asshole.” I laughed softly, walking a little closer so that I could lean on the wall beside Ryan.

“Really? I didn’t notice,” Ryan replied, sarcastically, laughing a little as well.

“I guess you just get used to it after a while. It used to aggravate me, but now I just block him out most of the time.”

I shrugged my shoulders, putting my fingers into my pockets.

“The thing that made me sort of mad was that Pete seems super nice and Jon just struck him down,” Ryan sighed, running his fingers through his hair now.

“You’re just saying that because he said that you were cute,” I laughed, looking over at Ryan.

“Well….that might have had some influence on my first impression of him.”

He laughed too, and oh my, what a beautiful laugh he had. It was so nonchalant and could break up any awkward silence and make you feel comfortable.

Once we both stopped laughing, we were still looking at each other and the situation was becoming a little…tense. It was as if neither of us knew what to do or what to say.

I looked down at my feet, blushing slightly for reasons unknown.

“Brendon, I only have one question for you.”

His voice came across very softly, almost inaudible. And now I wish I hadn’t heard it.

I looked up, meeting his eyes again.

“What?” I asked, hesitantly. I was sort of suspicious and scared as to what Ryan was about to ask me.

I was hoping that it would be something easy like ‘what’s your favorite color?’ but I doubted that’s what he had in mind. After all, he wasn’t Buddy the elf. Or a kindergartner for that matter.

“Are you gay?”

There it was. The million dollar question. Was I gay?

Frankly, I didn’t know. Yes, I was extremely attracted to Ryan, but he was pretty much the first guy I had ever thought of in that way.

And what did I do after he asked me this question?

I told him I had to go and practically ran out of the bathroom. To where I was going, I had no idea.

So I just ran to my locker, stupidly. Luckily I was pretty sure that Ryan didn’t know where my locker was, unless he had been stalking me.

I slumped down against the lockers, my head resting into my knees. I felt like crying, but I knew I didn’t need to and that I couldn’t. So I just sat there, contemplating my answer to Ryan’s question.

Was. I. Gay?

You wouldn’t think that it would be that difficult of a question to answer. You just had to say yes or no.

But for me, it just couldn’t be that simple. No, never.

I heard light footsteps making their way towards me, or past me, I wasn’t sure. I prayed that they were just walking past.

But I had no such luck. This was officially the worst day ever. And who was it, you ask?

Take one guess.

“Sorry if I freaked you out.”

Once again, Ryan’s words came out so softly my ears had to strain to hear them.

“No, I-it’s fine. I’m f-f-fine,” I said, the complete mess that I was.

“I really didn’t mean to ask you something that personal. I just thought…I don’t know. I’m really sorry.”

He sounded so sincere and upset that I just had to look up to see his face. He was pouting, making him look even cuter than normal.

“Please don’t do that,” I said, sounding whiny but happier.

“Don’t do what?” He sounded confused.

“Pout.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Why not?”

I sighed. “Because you look way too cute when you pout,” I replied, kind of glad that I had finally told him what I thought of him.

I couldn’t help but smile when he pouted even more, jutting out his lower lip and letting it quiver slightly.

“Stop!” I whined, pouting now too.

“Make me!” he threatened, but now he was smiling widely.

And before I knew it, I was pressing my lips against his.

But just to make him stop.

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A/N: Wow! I was thinking i wasn't going to be able to post this until tomorrow, but lucky for you my beta is awesome and got it edited like...5 minutes after i sent it! :) ENJOY.

Fast forward to lunch later that day.

So I walk into the cafeteria with my usual friends, Will, Jon, and Pete. And just take one guess as to who is sitting at one of the very first tables? Ding, ding! We have a winner. Ryan, formerly known as parking lot boy. And not really to my surprise, we have one of those weird eye connection moments again where I’m just standing there staring at him as my friends keep walking to our table.

“I think you should stop staring at me. It’s getting a little creepy and your friends just ditched you,” I hear a sweet, soft voice that seems to come from Ryan. But somehow his beautiful looks have put me into some kind of trance.

“Hey! Umm, are you okay?” He’s waving his hand in front of my face now, and I am finally able to function like a normal human being again.

“Oh, uhh, yeah. Sorry. I’m just really tired today…I guess,” I mumble, scratching my head and furrowing my eyebrows. What is with me? Seriously.

“Right. Well, are you just going to stand there like an idiot or are you gonna sit down?”


Oh, that voice. That sing-song voice. I could listen to it all day. Wait, Brendon, pay attention. Cute boy is speaking to you. And when people speak to you, you usually reply.

“With y-you?” I stuttered. Oh-my-god. I cannot believe my ears. Brendon Boyd Urie just STUTTERED. It’s the end of the world! Or at least, my reputation! What is wrong with me? What is this boy doing to me?!

“Well, yeah. That’s kind of what I was implying,” Ryan laughed and smiled softly, resting his chin in his hands as he continued to look at me.

“Umm, yeah, okay,” I managed to spit out, slipping into the seat across from Ryan. I sat there awkwardly for a moment, not really sure of what to do.

Looking across the room, my friends were watching me with confused expressions. They were probably wondering what the hell was wrong with me, too. Great, I’m not the only one who thinks I’m psycho. I waved quickly at Will, managing to get a crooked, unsure smile in return.

“So, are you new, or something?” I figured that as long as I was going to sit here with him, I might as well strike up a conversation. So I just asked the first question that came to mind. Kind of a bad idea.

What if he wasn’t new? Then I would just feel horrible that I had never noticed him before.

“Sort of. I’ve always lived here but I just transferred schools,” he replied calmly, shrugging.

“Oh, what school did you go to before?” Okay, this was good. The conversation was flowing pretty well….so far. Didn’t want to jinx it. And at least he was new, and I didn’t have to feel all guilty for never seeing him before.

“I went to Shiloh Mountain.”

Oh god, not that school! That was the private school in my district where all the rich snobs went.

Great, now I was going to be forced to hang out with a stuck-up goody two shoes that just happened to be extremely good-looking. Hmm, those kind of even out I guess.

What am I thinking?! I’m straight, I’m straight, I’m straight, I’m straight, I’m straight. I don’t like boys. I don’t like boys. I don’t like boys. I do like boys. NO! I don’t. But, I do. But, I can’t.

What would all of my friends think? They would probably hate me! No, no one would know about this recent discovery. No one.

“You’re spacing out again.”

I heard Ryan’s soft voice through the muffled noise of the cafeteria.

“Oh, sorry,” I blushed, looking down at the table momentarily before regaining my dignity like a real man and looking back up.

“So, how do you like Fairview High School so far?” I asked, finally gaining back my ability to come up with complete sentences.

“Well, it’s okay. You’re really the only person I’ve met here.”

Awwwh. Poor, Ryan. His face kind of went into a frown as he replied, instantly making me want to cheer him up.

“Oh, well…do you want to go sit with my friends?”

I smiled cheerfully, motioning over towards the table where my friends were seated. Hopefully this would all work out okay. I mean, Ryan was a cool kid so my friends would most likely get along with him.

But then again, I acted all weird and got all stutter-y and helpless around said boy, so this could work out either really good…or really horrifically.

“Sure!” Ryan’s voice sounded much more enthusiastic as he stood up, waiting for me to lead him over to the other table. He followed behind me until we reached my friends, and he stood tentatively by my side.

“Hey, guys. This is Ryan. He’s new here,” I said, trying my hardest to seem normal as I sat down next to Will and patted the seat next to me for Ryan.

“Oh my god! You are too cute!”

I snapped my head up, confused for a moment and thinking that those words had spilled out of my mouth.

But it had been none other than Pete, my gay friend. Pete came out to Will, Jon, and me about a year ago. Now you’re thinking, why don’t I just come out? But you haven’t heard the whole story yet.

When Pete first told me, I was ecstatic for him and told him I was glad he felt comfortable enough with me to tell me. Let’s just say things didn’t go as well with my other two comrades.

Will was a little uneasy at first and didn’t really speak to Pete for a few weeks, but he got over it eventually and was just tolerant of it now.

Jon teased Pete, made fun of him, told him he was disgusting, you name it. He treated Pete like shit for about 2 months. Currently, Jon pretty much just ignored the fact that his friend was gay, but would make snide remarks about it every once in a while.

And that is why I have chosen to keep my new-found sexuality to myself. I thought about telling Pete, but he’s too much of a gossip to keep a secret that important and fragile.

But, back to the current situation.

Ryan looked down at the table, a rosy shade creeping up on his cheeks as he smiled sweetly, at whom, I didn’t know.

“Pete! Could you please keep your queerness to yourself?!” Jon burst, glaring at the tan boy seated beside him.

Pete pouted, his gaze tilting down to his feet.

“Yeah, okay,” he said softly, looking like he was about to cry.

I felt so bad for him. What if that had been me? I couldn’t imagine having to deal with that shit EVERY DAY. No fucking way. I was going to keep my gay-ness to myself, thank you very much.

“I think, I’m, uhh, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

Ryan hopped up and walked quite quickly out of the cafeteria.

“I hope I didn’t scare him off,” Pete said, his eyes moving back up to meet with mine.

“No, it’s okay Pete. I doubt it was you that scared him.”

I looked at Jon, my gaze lingering on his cold eyes.

“What? Is he like, a fag or something?” Jon sneered, shaking his head.

What. A. Jerk.

Seriously, why was I even friends with him? He’s such an ass.

“I dunno, Jon,” I replied, my tone harsh, “but I’m gonna go check on him.”


A/N: hope you all like this chapter. i thought that was a pretty appropriate place to end it. i didn't want to end it anywhere awkward or something. but it's not exactly a cliffhanger either. :) so i hope you all enjoyed this. concrit is appreciated! <123